English Can Be Fun

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW . In a London Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT Outside a London second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a London conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world : At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. Doctors office, Rome : SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES . Hotel, Acapulco : THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER . In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO . In a Calcutta Coffee House: PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS

 

 

Interesting 1 liners....!

• Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. 
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
• A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
• Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
• True friends stab you in the front.
• Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
• My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
• It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.